First steps to recovery after a relationship with a narcissist

When you just leave your toxic partner, you will experience a myriad of emotions. It can be overwhelming, but a few tips can help you navigate the early stages of grief. The important thing to realize is that you’re out now, and the healing can finally begin. Here are a few things to remember as you begin the journey to your recovery:

• Allow Yourself to Grieve: It’s normal to be sad after the loss of an intimate relationship. Just because you’re happy to be free from the suffering doesn’t mean you won’t feel sadness at the loss. You will also be a bit disoriented at first, so it’s a great idea to pamper yourself. Watch different kinds of movies, eat a pint of ice cream, cry to your family and friends, and let yourself feel your grief. It’s truly the only way it will clear out of your system. You’ve just come out of a battle, so give yourself a little downtime and a lot of self-love.
• Don’t Doubt Your Decision: It’s not uncommon after a breakup – even one with a toxic partner – to think you’ve made a mistake. Suddenly, you’re out on your own, facing a lot of uncertainty. The devil you know can seem better than the unknown, but it’s not. You made the right decision, because you chose the path that would lead you into genuinely healthy, happy relationships. Don’t forget that that is your goal. You can reach it, but not if you go back.
• Cultivate Self-Love: This is a time in your life when you’re going to need all the self-love you can get. You’ve been made to doubt yourself and your abilities as a result of the narcissistic abuse you’ve suffered, so now it is time to remember all the great things about you. Fire your inner critic and replace those negative thoughts with positive affirmations. These have been shown to retrain your brain so positivity is your first response, no matter what setbacks you face. It’s important to remember that the most important relationship you will ever have in your life is the one you have with yourself.
• Unleash Your Creative Side: Paint, dance, write poetry or the next great American novel, take a cooking class, start a new project, learn to play a musical instrument, or learn a second language. Do something to unleash your creativity in a way that will allow you to express your feelings through a variety of different activities. It will give you something else to focus on other than your sadness. It will also help you clear the trauma from your body, mind, and soul.
• Spend Time with Loved Ones: It’s not uncommon for narcissists to make you cut ties with loved ones. This is a good time to reconnect with people who truly love you and want the best for you. It’s important that they not be toxic people, but rather, people who genuinely have your best interest at heart. Being around people who really love you at this time can help you to banish any self-doubt and find your way forward.
• Stay Present: The thing about the present moment is that you notice how everything is constantly changing, including your feelings. Initially, you might feel like you’ll never get over the loss of not only your love, but your dreams of a wonderful marriage and that perfect family. However, if you sit in the present moment, you’ll find that the feelings of sadness ebb and flow and are diminished with every passing day. You’ll also allow yourself to sit with your feelings of grief, and that will help you let the feelings move through rather than get stuck inside of you. You might think you don’t want to do that nor want to feel those depressing emotions again, but if you face them head-on, you’ll find it will be easier to let them go. That will help you move on much faster than you could otherwise.
• Remember Who You Are: It’s easy to lose yourself in a relationship, particularly one that involves a narcissistic partner. Right after leaving, it’s a good idea to get back in touch with the real you – the wonderful, positive person who lived inside you before you were ever traumatized by a wounded psychopath. To rediscover yourself, try taking up some of the hobbies you had before your relationship but gave up because your ex wasn’t interested. Go back to your roots and let yourself remember the happy, carefree you that existed before your toxic relationship.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a difficult mental disorder to deal with if you’re living with someone who has it. The narcissist doesn’t see that anything is their fault, yet it is their deep-seated insecurity that guides their manipulative, often aggressive, and always vanity-driven behavior. The ego of the narcissist is extremely fragile because in reality, they live with crippling insecurity. It’s so bad, they have to tear other people down to boost themselves up.

Often, people don’t understand how you ever got to be with someone who treated you like that. They judge you for not acting soon enough, but what they don’t understand is that the psychopathic narcissist wasn’t always like that. In the beginning, they were charming, supportive, admiring, and loving. You think you’ve hit the jackpot with a loving partner, only to find that it was all a grand illusion. Hidden behind that mask of love was an ugly monster.

If you managed to end this relationship, then this article will help you recover.

After experiencing a relationship with a narcissist, I wrote more than one book about it. In this article, information from my book «My Toxic Husband». I’m a psychologist-psychotherapist and I’ll ne glad to help you with your relationship. You can book a short meeting with me here.

Photocredit: mydr.com