How Being Empathic Helps You Deal With Difficult People
Empathizing with other people helps you diffuse conflict, prevent overcritical behavior, and propose a compromise. While empathy is not innate, some people are naturally more empathic than others. However, if you want to learn how to deal with difficult people, empathizing with others is essential.
- Affective empathy
Affective empathy helps you relate to and understand other people’s feelings. Empathic people have the ability to share the feelings of others, but there is a big difference between empathy and sympathy. To develop this skill, you should find something within yourself that feels emotional pain or deep sorrow. For example, if you recently lost a loved one, try to remember what it felt like to experience the same feelings without them.
When relating to difficult people, you need to understand that your actions have a direct effect on the other person. This means that your words must reflect your own feelings. Choosing words that validate the other person’s emotions and thoughts will help you build trust and respect. Be careful not to argue or direct questions. Try to remain flexible as to the direction of the conversation. Affective empathy is important in dealing with difficult people.
Cognitive empathy is the process of imagining what another person is going through. This is the first step to forming empathy. You can also try to visualize yourself in that person’s situation. Once you have an idea of what they are going through, you can begin to express your own feelings. This is important when dealing with difficult people because it can help you build rapport with them. So, if you are surrounded by difficult people, remember to practice this skill.
- Stepping into another person’s shoes
There are four basic responses to dealing with a difficult person. You can walk away, ignore them, or create space between you. Whatever you decide to do will depend on the individual and their circumstances. It’s best to respond to a difficult person in a way that allows you to cope. Try putting yourself in the person’s shoes. If they have a history of bad behavior, they may have a grudge against you. This might be a result of previous actions or words. It’s not your place to judge their motivations. But, if you’re not sure of what they’re aiming for, try putting yourself in their shoes.
Try to imagine how someone else would react in the situation. If you’re having trouble understanding someone else’s point of view, try pretending to be them. Step into their shoes and ask them a series of open-ended questions to understand their perspective. – Ask open-ended questions to clarify the situation and avoid making assumptions. – Make a list of questions you want to explore.
- Mindfully releasing emotions
One of the first steps to successfully addressing difficult people is to learn to release your emotions. Many people, who find it difficult to deal with difficult people, simply act out or suppress their feelings. Both of these approaches can have undesirable outcomes. However, acting out is often an unwise choice, as it can escalate the situation. On the other hand, suppressing your emotions can actually make the situation worse. Mindfully releasing your emotions is a better option.
- Shifting your mindset to deal with difficult people
One way to overcome the stress and anxiety associated with dealing with difficult people is to change your mindset. Understand that difficult people are not the bad guys; they’re just playing a role for your growth. Those who are difficult to deal with may actually be people you love deeply or are playing the role of villain to explore aspects of themselves that you would otherwise not see. To shift your mindset, try to view difficult people as teachers who will help you grow.
Another tip is to resist the urge to react. Reacting can make the situation worse. Instead, practice having positive reactions to difficult people. For example, when you know someone is running late, you might get angry or frustrated, but by reacting you will only encourage them to be even more late in the future. Rather than reacting, wait until the person arrives. This way, you will not feel the need to respond emotionally.
Empathy can be easily developed because it is a skill, and you will learn how to be empathic with the help of psychotherapy. I have been practicing psychotherapy for many years, this is my passion, so I invite you to introductory meeting, where I can help you develop your empathy. You can book a convenient time and day here.
The idea for this article was information from the book «Empathic ninja» M.Aquino
Photocredit: ASCD