What does a healthy relationship look like? What are green flags?

A healthy relationship is a result of the hard work of both partners.

Unfortunately, nobody taught us how to build relationships, but we have enough examples in our lives that showed us how to destroy them. I believe that healthy relationships are more likely to achieve after 30, usually, to give value to the things you need to try different stuff first and have enough experience in your past. In the adult age, we tend to reevaluate our emotions and backgrounds. So what we saw as “love” in our teens, adult people would call “codependency,” etc.

Relationships are the street with two ways of direction. It can’t be healthy if one of the partners is emotionally immature.

Green flags that say about healthy relationships:

1. You both have your life, job, interests, hobbies, friends. You share only 20% or so of your lifetime. Let’s say you have a relationship; you live together, probably you have kids in common, loans, plans, etc. But both of you are separate individuals. You have a mutual trust for your independence and boundaries.
2. You feel free to be yourself in your relationship, and you give the same right to your SO(significant other). That means that you are not afraid to be judged or shamed. Your partner accepts you as you are.
3. Your relationship is stable and calm, without too bright emotions. Passion, rage, panic, suffer, and fear are rare guests in your relationship. As you both understand, love is not something WOW; it’s something more subtle and stable.
4. You can trust your partner, as you know that his/her words correspond to reality and actions. You don’t have a desire to check his/her pockets or belongings. Mutual respect and trust is the base of your relationship.
5. Your relationship has little traditions. It is Something you love to do together. It can be your date once per week, or maybe you can go for a little vacation, only you and your SO.
6. You can talk. Literally, you can sit and talk about everything. You have the courage to discuss your relationship and problems in a non-violent way. You don’t pretend that everything is alright, and you don’t escape the honest conversation.
7. You support and motivate each other. A healthy relationship is not a place for shame, abuse, mind games, or bullying. If one of you falls, the other one will give a hand without asking questions.
8. Sex, hugs, kisses are a vital part of your relationship.
9. You have a scenario of your conflicts and ways out. There are many challenges in our lives, but in the end, you know that you are there together. And obviously, you should not fight for “you“ or “me“ you should fight together for “we.”
10. Both of you have a clear understanding that you can’t control each other and your future, but at the same time, you are ready to work on your relationship.

There is one good sign that says that you are in the right place: if you feel happy, balanced, and continuously developing. In healthy relationships, the partners becoming calmer, happier, and more successful. Looking back, you can say without doubts that you feel better with SO than without.

I will be glad if you share with me your green flags of a healthy relationship.

It's my pleasure to help people in love to build good and stable relationship. You can book a call with me here.

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